Auspiciousness of Life

I live on the 21st floor of my building.  When I agreed to take the apartment, I was only slightly remiss that it wasn't the 20th floor.  Only 1 floor away from the most auspicious location.

20 has been my favored number since I was a young child.  Around the age of 6 or 7, I had come to the realization that 20 resonated with me more than any other number... it probably came as a result of having to pick a favorite number.

I believe that Auspiciousness is a quality that becomes infused into the symbols to which we attach sacredness or ausipiciousness.  I spoke of the date 11/11 as an auspicious date without any particular reasoning or experience that would exemplify its exalted qualities... a student asked me why this date is special, and I responded that it just feels special, and that is enough to make it worthy of auspiciousness.

My practical life experience has demonstrated that my mind creates this world... and in order to manifest the world of my wildest dreams, I need to continue living as though that world is already manifest.

One such example is related to a recent connection I made with the editor of a very well-circulated magazine promoting health and wellness for men.  During our dinner, we spoke of a collaboration that would introduce a spiritual component to the magazine's content.

Following that evening, I wrote a proposal to the editor with some general ideas about such a collaboration, and pitched myself as a contributor.  In my mind, I envisioned writing monthly articles focused on demystifying yoga and related spiritual practices, and translate the wisdom into bite-size downloads that could be readily digested by the magazines' readers.

After I sent the proposal, I detached myself from any expectations about what could happen, and patted myself on the back for dreaming big.  After a few days of anticipation, I realized that in order to manifest this reality, I should begin writing as though I've already been commissioned.  The best part of this realization is that the writing is what gives me the most pleasure... more than the recognition, the money, the exposure, or any other external accolades.

Back to my story about the 21st floor... for the past several weeks, one of the elevators has been mysteriously dysfunctional.  When it arrives on the 21st floor, it displays that it is on the 20th floor, and it also tends to get stuck on my floor, and remains there with the door open, proudly displaying the number 20.  Rather than seeing this as a dysfunction, I see it as a realization of what I am wanting in a mysteriously serendipitous way.

Divine Play: The AcroYoga Festival

Several years ago, a vision was born for a grand gathering in the spirit of AcroYoga.  The community had expanded to the furthest reaches of the global, and it was clear that such a gathering would serve as a beautiful expression of the way this practice has transcended cultural and geographic boundaries in the spirit of human connection and divine play.

The gathering would include AcroYoga teachers and key teachers from each of the disciplines that form the lineage of AcroYoga... Yoga, Thai Massage and Acrobatics.  The vision was born for an AcroYoga festival... a grand celebration in honor of all three lineages and a divine playground for AcroYogis from around the world to share their vision of the practice.

Nine months ago, Jenny announced that she had secured a space and set dates... and from that first sprout, the magic began to unfold in a most serendipitous way.  Esteemed teachers from each lineage offered to present those disciplines in their pure form.  AcroYoga teachers from all over the world offered a broad spectrum of classes that demonstrate the infinitely expansive range and breadth of AcroYoga while maintaining its essence with the utmost of integrity.

The aspect about the festival that impressed me most was the unparalleled degree of studentship.  The students were incredibly attentive, receptive, dedicated and skillful.  After speaking with many who attended the festival, it was clear the the environment was conducive to radically expanding boundaries and embracing the potential to take giant leaps of faith.  Several of our guest teachers spoke to Jenny & Jason's studentship, and acknowledged them both as supremely dedicated and genuinely humble students on the path.

I was honored to invoke blessings at the opening ceremony by leading us in a chant.  We invoked blessings from Durga, the female aspect of Lord Shiva, and brought to light the symbolism of pure potential that is represented by the Shiva aspect as both the end and simultaneously the beginning of a new cycle.  As we gaze towards the future, it is clear that this festival has created a tremendous momentum to dream big, and keep expanding the boundaries of what is possible!

Anusara Teacher Training: Maha Download

The seat of the teacher is a noble seat.  This is the contemplation that came to the forefront of my mind as I assimilated the journey of 5 weeks over the course of 14 months.  This period, which began in August 2009, represents the completion of a cycle through the Anusara curriculum of immersions and teacher training and a culmination of the momentum in the great company of those who came along for the whole ride.

I reflect on my teachers, Darren Rhodes and Christina Sell, who paved the way by their example and held the container for my deeply transformative process with gratitude, reverence and humility.  I am honored to call them my teachers, and am eternally grateful for the wisdom that has revealed itself in their presence.

The immersions brought me on a soul adventure deep into the core of my being to reveal the essence of who I am.  It shed light on my path through many transformations over the course of 3 decades, and helped me to see that through each transformation of self, I shed one layer of myself only to put on a new layer... and never fully revealing the deeper aspects of myself.

During the immersions, my intention was to fall apart and to reveal what remains at the core of my being.  I felt safe in that environment to reveal my deepest vulnerabilities and took refuge in my teachers, my kula and the practice that we shared.  I contemplated my heart's deepest longing, my wildest dreams, my highest visions and my sacred purpose... these questions could only be answered after taking the long journey into the core of my heart... the essence of my being.

The immersions culminated in December of 2009 with a tremendous finale... as a result of my dedication and unwavering commitment to roam the space of my heart, I felt a dramatic shift at subtle layers of my consciousness that resulted in a complete reorganization of everything at the surface level.  I found myself at a loss for words in translating this experience to those who had not been on the magic bus.  The wisdom and story remained with the kula.

Seven months later, I began the teacher training cycle.  My intention remained to speak boldly from my heart.  By the second week of teacher training, I had a profound realization that over the 7 months passed, I had kept secret the wisdom that I had gained through the course of my immersions.  I had not shared what I had learned with my colleagues or students but rather let the wisdom evolve within my practice as a gift to myself.

The teacher training reminded me that my duty in the process of teacher training would be to share the treasures that I have received by the grace of my teachers.  During that second week, I made a promise to myself, with the Kula as my witness, to share the treasures that I have received in homage to the lineage and in gratitude to my teachers.

What I offer is my personal story... my direct perception of the auspicious nature of life unfolding from moment to moment, with a deeply rooted connection to the philosophy of Anusara yoga and a direct relationship to the grand purpose of Yoga... to know the essence of who I am at the core of my being and to express my full potential with integrity and radical authenticity as an example to inspire others to shine!

Puerto Rico Reflections

If anyone asks how our workshops went, we say:

It was a great success... we had tears ;)

One of Laura's feedback points is that I created space for her shine.

I am learning from my teacher training, and have just flipped a great paradox.

I thought that teacher training would teach me how to Shine. I realize now that it is teaching me how to help others Shine.

The First Week Uncovered

It is a beginning... and the end of a cycle. Our first week of Teacher Training with Sianna. It was a cocreative coparticipative process. We literally designed our own classes, and cotaught with our peers.

Today, she said it would be a horrible disservice if we all left the training speaking like her. The purpose of this training is for us to discover our own voice, to reveal our essence, to personalize the experience of yoga through our lens of perception, and to learn how to express that with efficacy and eloquence.

I had my moment of recognition today as a teacher of Anusara yoga. Sianna observed me teaching Badokonasana. Just as she had done with my peers, she gave me real time feedback. She helped me to see the next steps, and then encouraged me to step forward with confidence.

I was longing for the opportunity to teach in front of her. In her presence, I naturally shine. She brings out the best in me, and so I get to witness the best of myself. It fills me with confidence, a deeper understanding and a sense of purpose.

It is a paradox. I am actually nervous before it happens. There is a part of me that is so anxious to jump into the fire, and another heavy part of myself that is very timid and faltering. And then the opportunity presents itself, I jump into the fire, and emerge pure, joyful and awake.

I really valued her contribution to my growth through her recognition of my foundation, her insightful guidance and her affirmation of my progress.

Reading the Malas

In Tantra, they teach us about the Malas. David, one of our guest teachers, put it into street slang for the soul... he translated the esoteric into broadly accessible terms.

Insecurity and self-judgement, i.e. looking through the lens of separation, is one of the malas that I have confronted in this training, and throughout my life. It arises as a feeling of being scrutinized and compared. David refers to the malas like wearing "rose colored glasses", only they come in a variety of different shades that color our perception... they're usually not rosy.

When this self-judgment arises, I become fearful of expressing myself fully and freely for fear of tripping, looking stupid, saying the wrong answer out loud...

This feeling is amplified in the presence of certain teachers, those who I hold in highest esteem. In their presence, I become hyperaware of my actions, and am often self-scrutinizing and self-adjusting.

Especially around these teachers, I would like to practice being very comfortable in my skin, letting my hair down, and just being myself. If I show them my true colors, they can be of their highest service and help me connect to my highest potential. My teacher wishes me well.

And she appreciates me, and shows me her affection in acknowledgement of my presence. There are times when I don't give myself permission to fully receive her blessing thinking I'm not worthy, or that I haven't earned it. I scrutinize my own self against my expectation of the model student. I am learning to embrace the guidance that I receive from my most beloved teachers, to be humble, honest and free to express myself from a centered and more authentic place.

David encouraged us to give our mala a funny name... to recognize it when it arrives... to acknowledge its presence... and to give it a little bit of love. Smithers comes to mind... Hello, Smithers.

We did a simple exercise that facilitated speaking with more authenticity. It was all about using your whole body as an instrument of your voice... to vibrate as a whole being. Just as in singing, the voice open up tremendously when you use your whole body to sing, so that every part of yourself vibrates sympathetically with your voice.

Integrity of communication is when non-verbal aligns with verbal.

Speak with your whole body

Embody the vibration of your words

Align with the message

We stood in front of our peers, and answered a big question:

Why do I teach yoga?

My first answer: I teach yoga because one of the great benefits that I receive is that it helps me to feel more compassionate and loving towards others... to feel connected and in relation to others. It has also guided me to live a more purposeful life. I see many people suffering from a lack of purpose or meaning, and I wish to help them connect to this great source of clarity and inspiration.

Before our second answer, we took an opportunity to ground our voices and resonate with that vibration throughout our whole body.

I relaxed. I breathed into my back body. I spoke again. My second answer: Yoga helps me to express myself from a deeper place of truth and self-knowing, and this lends itself to a more meaningful connection to myself and to the bigger picture. I wish to empower others to connect with this perspective.

Rainy Day

On a day like today, it takes a dedicated coffee drinker to come out to Stumptown for a cupper, and it takes a dedicated Muslim to come out to pray. When I look out the coffee shop window and see a Muslim prayer room packed out on a rainy day, I think to myself, I'm glad that I drink coffee.

Kali Myth

At the beginning of a jam, I started with the following speech.

What did you learn over this weekend, and throughout the day? What did it teach you?

Responses included safety and communication.

We expanded on those ideas.

I spoke about the inward gaze: reflecting the experience of partnership inward, a reflection of personal ownership and responsibility. What can I learn about myself through this experience?

We welcome Kali onto the scene. How she swallows raksa bija, the great demon whose blood drops transform into another demon. She assimilates it, and it transforms to reveal an aspect of her own self. It is representative of our shadow side.

In partnership, there are moments of charge fueled by an emotional response, and that response eventually stills into a lucid moment of reflection. Through partnership, one can accelerate the process of self-understanding by turning the gaze inward in such moments, and observing the shadows of ourselves.

I encouraged our students to retain the gems from the weekend by putting them into practice. I spoke about patterns and cultivating the power to change with clear vision. I spoke about taking personal responsibility for changing your own reputation. Align with a vision, and discover the power to change your reputation.

A Deeply Grateful Student

I dedicated this past weekend to teaching the foundations of Thai massage, and was warmly received by a classroom full of enthusiastic students. I felt strongly about offering a Thai massage workshop in NYC, and affirmed my intuition by the response from the students. It was a transformative journey for all of us, and I was honored to create the container.

The comedian inside me made several guest appearances, and created many opportunities for us to laugh together throughout the weekend. The teachings which have been passed down to me emerged in such a beautiful way, and I saw the students assimilating the principles and gaining perspective on this path. To develop mastery in the art Thai massage, one must make a substantial investment of time, both in study and more importantly, in practice.

When I left Bali this past September, Arno reminded me that practice was the essential ingredient to transforming my Thai massage practice and taking it to the next level. As he says, "Be humble, and repeat." Since then, I had been teaching very little Thai massage, and doing bodywork as often as possible. I know that my practice is the foundation for myself as a teacher, and following Arno's advice, I felt in no rush to share what I have been learning.

This weekend offered an affirmation of just how precious a gift I have received to share. The practice of Thai massage is deeply healing, for both the giver and receiver, and creates an extraordinary medium to communicate love through touch. In the presence of this kula, I felt the teachings emerge effortlessly, and I felt more like a channel than a facilitator. I heard my teachers voices guiding me along, and witnessed the magic unfold.

At the closing circle, I asked the students to reflect on the weekend, and to affirm something that they experienced which brings more joy and meaning into their life... something that they would like to integrate more fully into their life. As soon as people began to share, I felt myself choked up with emotion, and overflowing with gratitude... the tears streamed down my face, a deep resonance of joy beat in my heart, and I felt such gratitude and homage... homage to all of the teachers in my life, and then towards all those who have dedicated their lives to share the teachings in this lineage.

My heart goes out to all those who have helped me to advance on this path, and especially to Gwyn & Arno who model the way, and offer such a brilliant inspiration for so many.

People to Love

One of the qualities that I admire in people is the ability to look you in the eyes, and to see you as an individual. One of the reasons why I love my ritual at Stumptown Coffee Roasters is that anytime I come in, the baristas are always willing to treat me fresh from every other customer. If I have a question, they are willing to respond without any sense of urgency, even if there is line fishing out the door. They seem unaffected by the sense of urgency that seems to be pervasive throughout the city. Like Durga, they remain composed, well-mannered and present with each new customer. The human exchange model for success. Granted, they have amazing coffee, and that line is growing for good reason.

Dedication & Survival

The city of New York is fierce... terrifying as it is awe-inspiring. The pace and rhythm is pushing me to my edge, and my goal right now is purely survival. There are such tremendous expectations and responsibilities that I have placed upon myself that it seems insurmountable.

My yoga practice teaches me how to keep a high vision, to make progress in reasonable strides and to remain steadfast. On mornings like this, I have immense reverence for my practice... it is my sanctuary. It reconnects me to the source of self-nourishment and to the journey of the heart. This morning, I left my roles, responsibilities and obligations at the door... I did not bring them into the practice space because in that room, on my mat, I am creating a sanctuary.

Within that sanctuary, I reveal my heart's deepest longing without obstruction from any conditions or externalities. I am free to express myself from a deeper place, to listen openly to whatever feelings and thoughts arise, and to roam near the hub of all sacred places... where my intentions gain tremendous inertia. I asked my students to do the same... to leave their worldly affairs at the door, to clear the container, and to sanctify this space.

Afterwards, it all becomes so clear. My lifestyle choices have created an environment in which I rely upon my practice for survival, and that reliance transmutes into a dedication that is unparalleled. It is the kind of dedication that arises out of pure necessity.

Auspicious Day

I walk by a woman singing out loud as she walks across broadway, ignoring her surroundings. Her voice is beautiful and penetrating, singing open notes like a warm up for an operetta.

I reflect on Kali, the tall, dark skinned man I saw one day back in 2007 walking along with his tongue sticking out and the whites of his eyes and teeth gleaming brilliant against the tone of his skin.

NYC is an incredible place. After crossing paths with the singer, I see that there is a prayer outside a ground level mosque, men have gathered along the sidewalk outside the mosque on their carpets or cardboard, praying together. I ask someone at stumptown and they say it happens every Friday.

Within the coffeeshop, they are filming a movie, and here I sit in the midst of the preparations and prep shots.

This morning, I saw a boy at the train station who I met about 2 months ago... a ballet boy who was on an empty car with me.

I can see that today is an auspicious day, and on days like today, I feel like I get a strong hit of inspiration, and need to hang on to it... but it is not necessary, because everything about this day is auspicious. The more I pay attention, the more I witness the auspiciousness in everything. It is both a frame of mind, and a state of universal being. It is a special day, and I recognize that through my lens of awareness.

I had breakfast with my grandmother this morning, and it was the sweetest. There are few things more precious to me that her, and the simple rituals we can share in one another's company. She repeated a parable that I have heard many a times, and today, it had a unique twist, some words that were colloquially used prior to the war.

How blessed we are.

Flowing into Week 2

Paige Elenson, founder and visionary behind the Global Yoga Kula foundation, was my angel and my inspiration during this past weekend. She organized a workshop at Studio K in New Haven, CT with Jessica Kung for the purposes of raising money to create a website for her foundation. Playing with a purpose was our theme!

We co-taught two days of Acroyoga with a group of very inspiring activists... activist in the sense of taking responsibility for themselves and the state of the world around them - how we choose to be the change we wish to see is entirely our own decision. As individuals, we have the freedom to choose our path.

Jessica and Paige served as my mentors for the weekend, warmly inviting me into the greater kula and expressing their support of my growth as an activist. I learned so much from being in their presence during these two days. I left a piece of my heart in New Haven with Jessica and all the lovely people who shared the experience of our workshop. It is the seed of community, planted in fertile soil with the support of nurturing caretakers.

When I think about stepping into the flow, I hold my intentions and visions as the guiding light, and receive the support along the way with trust in the process. It is my experience of trusting in the greater flow and tapping into that abundance that creates a clear reference point from which to guide my decisions.

I came back into the city to attend a class after which I would demonstrate Acroyoga in lieu of the upcoming workshop. The teacher was late, so I began the demo at the beginning of the class instead. The teacher never arrived, and instead, I guided the class in an Acro-style practice. Out of the nine students who showed up for Bindu's class, eight students stayed to share the Acroyoga experience.

I see these experiences as an example of allowing the flow to support me... when I trust in the highest intention, my highest good, the universe responds with abundant support.

I went to Levitate Yoga this morning to audition with 6 other yoga teachers for an opportunity to teach at the studio. It was an organic and spontaneous experience co-created by the 7 of us, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to share in this setting. Afterwards, I spent some time connecting with the people who came to audition, and made some nice connections. One of the women teaches at a yoga and dance studio for women called The Ladybird Center, owned and operated by Amanda of the Kula Yoga Project.

The city is growing smaller by the moment...

Here are a few more worthwhile places to check out -

The Breathing Project - space rentals for workshops, etc.

East West Books - cafe, bookstore, community event space and more...
78 Fifth Avenue @ 14th Street

Blick Art Materials - i come for journals and pens...
15 Bond Street @ Broadway

The First Week Uncovered

It begins among the familiar space and community of the Om Factory... welcoming me back to teach Friday night Acroyoga class. I left on Saturday, after making a quick tour through Williamsburg to visit the site of Chris' future art gallery - still in the works. At the moment, it is a warehouse space sectioned off into large rooms by drywall and plywood... a humble beginning. Every journey begins with the first step!

Over the week, I set up a workshop with Commit 2 Change, a yoga and pilates studio in Morristown... the manager had a lovely presence, and she is very enthusiastic about having me come to teach. I also spoke with a woman who is organizing the Fit Yoga Conference this summer in NYC. They are hosting their first conference, and are thoroughly excited about getting AcroYoga on the schedule. It's an amazing opportunity to get exposure and acknowledgement in the yoga community, and to share the teaching space with some wonderful teachers. So far, we're still in the planning phase... Debbie Kuebler is coordinating the event, and she expressed interest in hosting a workshop at her studio, Elements Yoga, in Darien, CT - Tri-state represent!

After a week in Jersey, decompressing and preparing, I returned the following week to explore new venues at random. The Kula Yoga Project in Tribeca was my first stop and the doors were closed... nonetheless, the kula speaks for itself. Schyler is a friend of Paige's, and she is one of the kula's cheif contributors. Another woman, Amanda, was introduced to me today through a woman who teaches at her studio in Washington Heights. They are guilty of being inspiring and lovely yoginis by association, and I'm looking forward to making a more personal connection with this extension of the family tree.

Naga Yoga, right down the street, was also closed upon my arrival... nothing to report about the studio so far from my contacts. They teach hot yoga and are a relatively new addition to NYC's yoga community.

My 3rd stop was Yoga Mandali - an Anusara studio on Broadway in Soho. My first impression of the studio was warm and inviting. Phil, the owner of the studio, was there to greet me, and had hosted an Acroyoga workshop in the past. We discussed setting up a workshop and reflected on the need for greater connection within the yoga community.

That evening, I taught a rockin' Acroyoga class at the Om Factory, and left feeling a sense of having stepped into a flow.